


Remembering Her

by Evoeie



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lawfirm, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Managing Partner Carol, Original Female Character of Color, P.O.C Characters, Slow Romance, They really don’t get a long at first lmao, author Therese, first attempt at writing smut, slow burn (?)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:22:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24713026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evoeie/pseuds/Evoeie
Summary: Young and upcoming author Therese Belivet is just starting to find her place in the world, finding time to work on her newest book while juggling jobs to keep herself afloat. When she lands a job working as the personal assistant to Carol Aird, Managing Partner and co founder of the RossAird Law-firm. Therese thinks she’s got it made- a stable job (at least for a year) with good pay and health benefits, I mean she feels like she’s living the dream.But when she hears the rumors about her boss, she can’t help but feel a little bit unnerved. Dubbed “Ice Queen” by her subordinates, Carol Aird is not someone you want to make an enemy out of. Therese thinks she’s got it handled, but Carol Aird turns out to be more trouble than she expected.After a month of working for her, Carol Aird has managed to get under her skin like no other. Whether it be her arrogance or frigid nature, she somehow always manages to get under Therese’s skin. But when a chance encounter leaves them in the same same bed together, Therese can’t help but think there is something more to the ice queen than meets the eye.
Relationships: Carol Aird & Therese Belivet, Carol Aird/Therese Belivet
Comments: 65
Kudos: 153





	1. Highway To Hell

I.

* * *

Therese’s eyes squinted as she tried to make out her surroundings,

_  
Where was she_? 

She tried to recall what happened the night before but her mind was blank, the last thing she could remember was talking to Dannie on the phone before hanging up and taking another shot. Her stomach lurched at the prospect of alcohol, clearly she had not been kind to her liver last night- that was for sure.

Therese felt her stomach churn violently, bile quickly forcing its way up into her throat, burning her esophagus as she tried to force herself not to gag. She quickly yanked the sheets off of her body, stumbling out of bed as she desperately tried to find the bathroom.

She had no time to think as she made her way into the first open door she saw, praying that she had guessed right. Therese felt slightly relieved when she spotted the porcelain bowl nestled in the corner of the room, but she had no time to celebrate as her stomach contracted violently. Her throat burned as she heaved over the toilet, tears pricking her eyes as she continued to force out the contents of her stomach.

She let out one last heave before she let herself fall back against the wall, sweat coating her entire body. Tears trickled down her flushed cheeks as she continued to quietly sniffle. It was something that had always happened when she threw up, maybe it was because she was overwhelmed, she didn't really know.

_How has my life come to this_

She screwed her eyes shut, her hands clenching while digging her fingernails into the flesh of her palms. The stinging grounded her, bringing her back to the world around her. She let out a shaky breath, counting back from ten to try and calm herself down. There was no time for self deprecating thoughts, she could only focus on now, not the past nor the future- but right now.

Her fingers reached out, searching for something steady to hold on to before she hoisted herself up. Her fingers skimmed the marble counter, gripping on to it as she shakily stood up. She made her way out of the bathroom and into the room, eyes roaming over the unfamiliar surroundings. 

It was a nice room, there were potted plants spread throughout the room along with books and clothes strewn haphazardly across the floor. Pictures of people who she assumed were the girl’s friends and family lined the desk and wall.

_She seems nice_

Her eyes wandered back to the person laying in the bed that she had been previously occupying, it seemed that despite Therese’s loud retching earlier, the woman had not woken from her slumber.

What was her name again? Therese could not remember. Her eyes traveled over the woman, she did look a little bit familiar, images of deep bronze skin and thick curly black hair flashed through her mind. _Jasmine,_ yes Jasmine was her name- bits and pieces of the previous night coming back to her. But it didn’t matter now, she would leave, vanishing into the early hours of the morning.

She quietly moved around the room so as to not wake the sleeping woman, though she doubted her movements would wake her from her slumber. She searched for her clothes, quickly picking them up from their place on the ground and slipping them on. 

Therese checked her watch, it was five a.m and the early light was casting a peaceful glow over the bedroom. She quickly laced up her boots, throwing on her black blazer before exiting the room. 

She threw a glance back at the woman, a twinge of guilt tugging at her heart. From what she could remember the girl had been really into her, asking for her number so they could see each other again. But she wasn’t looking for anything serious. 

Not right now at least.

Still Therese knew she couldn’t leave the girl to wake up alone and disappointed, she quietly made her way into the kitchen, grabbing what she needed before creeping back into the room. 

She placed the cup of water on the bedside table, along with two pills of ibuprofen. It wasn’t much but she thought that maybe the gesture would soften the blow.

At least she hoped it would

________________

Once outside Therese groaned, clutching her head as a pounding headache settled itself between her eyes. She felt her phone buzz repeatedly in her back pocket, she debated letting it go to voicemail but she knew it was probably Dannie and he would have her ass if she didn’t answer.

She quickly opened her phone, the bright light of her phone screen momentarily blinding her 

“Shit-” she grumbled, swiping the accept button before it could go to voicemail. Immediately she could hear Dannie yelling at her from the other end, she moved the phone away from her ear- lord knows if she didn't she would probably get some sort of hearing damage from his ranting.

“Where the _hell_ are you Therese? You didn’t come home last night and you’ve been ignoring all of my damn calls! Do you know how worried I was?”

“I’m fin-”

She couldn’t even get a word in edgewise as Dannie continued to fume, biting her tongue as she let him continue his rant. She knew that when Dannie got like this it was best to let him get it all out before trying to talk to him. It wasn't without reasoning, she knew that Dannie was worried about her, but she couldn’t help feeling like a scolded child at the moment

“I’m not a child Dannie !” she finally snapped, she let out a sigh as she heard Dannie go silent on the other end. She didn’t mean to snap but she couldn't help feeling suffocated at times.

“You know I worry about you Therese, you get black out drunk and then disappear, nearly giving me a goddamn heart attack,”

“ I know,” she whispered, “I promise I’m okay, I’ll call you next time and let you know if I’m not coming home, okay?”

“ Just… Just stay safe okay? I’m sorry for overreacting,”

“ Apology accepted, now listen I have to call a cab, but I’ll probably see you before I head off to work, Okay?“

“ Fine, but try to hurry back, there are some things I have to go over with you before the launch party,”

“Okay, I’ll see you at home,”

Therese stood on the street for a minute, her headache and mild exhaustion weighing her down, she knew she needed to stop nearly killing herself each week but it was the only way she kept the loneliness at bay. 

Dannie was spending more and more time away at Jenna’s house, she was happy for him- _she truly was_. Jenna was a good girl and she made Dannie happy, but she couldn’t stand being alone, better to be off at some bar than let herself feel the crippling feeling of isolation and abandonment that came with the empty apartment.

The city was beginning to wake up, shops opening up and people taking to the streets, rushing off to start their day. By the time Therese reached her and Dannie’s shared apartment it was already six a.m, leaving her with two hours to get ready for work and _maybe_ continue working on her next chapter.

She let out a relieved groan as she slipped off her shoes, dumping her keys into the ugly plastic bowl that adorned the table next to the front door.

She turned her head as she heard footsteps approaching her, there was Dannie, still in his pajamas with two cups of coffee in his hands. She gave him a weak smile, hoping that he wasn’t still pissed at her.

“Come here idiot, you look like you need this,”

Therese and Dannie settled on the couch, she let out a groan as she sunk into the plush couch, relieved to be back in her own apartment. Dannie handed her the cup, watching as she took a big sip.

“So are you going to tell me where you were last night?”

Therese rolled her eyes, “If you must know I spent the night at Jasmine’s apartment,”

“Jasmine? The one we met last night at the bar?”

“Yes that one-” she put down her mug on the coffee table, turning to face Dannie, “Now what did you want to talk to me about?”

Dannie stood up, walking over to the desk, grabbing something out of Therese’s line of vision. When Dannie sat back down she could see a stack of index cards in his hands.

“What’s the cards for?”

“Well, Therese if you had been paying attention last week when I told you-” Therese prepared to fire a retort but Dannie shushed her, “You would know that these are the questions that were submitted for after the book reading at the launch party,”

Therese’s eyes widened in recognition, it had completely slipped her mind that there was going to be a small Q&A after her stand in read a few chapters from her latest book. Dannie had arranged a launch party (being her publicist and all) for her newest book _“The Night I Died”_. 

She was curious to how it would work, considering her identity remained anonymous and no one besides a handful of her closest friends knew that she was the author.

“ How is it going to work? I mean I wont be there to answer any questions…”

“That's why I had people submit questions, we were supposed to go over it _last night-_ but you disappeared after the bar,”

“Shit, I’m sorry Dannie,”

“Its fine, all that matters is that we're here now-” He gave her a big smile, “Now let's do this,”

Therese and Dannie went through the questions one by one, even though Therese wasn’t going to be there she didn’t want to give half-assed answers. She pondered each question, giving Dannie long well thought out answers. By six thirty they were down to their last question, it was a tough one- 

_“_ _You write under a pseudonym, Jamie Phillips. People have long since speculated over your identity since you blew up three years ago. So the question is; why remain anonymous ?_ _”_

There were many reasons why she remained anonymous- one being how she absolutely _detested_ interacting with large groups of people. She found that ever since she was a child she hated being the centre of attention, whether it be because of something good or bad. She preferred to watch from the sidelines. However despite that, she did love meeting new people, just in smaller- more _manageable_ groups. 

Another was because there was a very real possibility that her book would tank and she still needed a job to provide income. She'd rather keep her writing away from her professional life as she had started writing as a hobby, never expecting for her books to gain a following in such a short amount of time.

And- due to the nature of her book, she knew that uncomfortable and personal questions would be brought up. She did _not_ want to share her personal life with complete strangers. There were other more trivial reasons that she decided to remain anonymous but those were the main three. Ignoring the main three, she decided to go with one of the smaller reasons she chose to not disclose her identity. 

“Well I guess I want my work to speak for itself, I don't want my identity to be a factor in which people judge my work. Mystery adds to the magic of it I suppose.”

After they finished Therese quickly took a shower and brushed her teeth, deciding to skip breakfast. She dug through her closet, trying to find her beige trousers. After five minutes of desperately searching she had still yet to find them.

_Come on! Please not today, I’m already running late_

“ Dannie!-” she shouted “-Have you seen my work pants? The beige ones?”

She turned her head slightly, making eye contact with Dannie as he poked his head through her doorway, his eyes falling on the pile of clothes gathered at her feet.

“I’m sorry Therese, they’re at the dry cleaning-” he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head “-I assumed you had another pair stashed away somewhere,”

Therese groaned, running her hands up her face and through her damp hair. There was no time to be angry with Dannie, she just had to let it go and quickly piece together another work outfit.

“It’s fine, but can you pick it up for me? I have a feeling I’ll be staying late today,”

“No problem T, by the way I’ll probably be spending the night at Jenna’s, I'll give you a ring later if I do,”

“Kay’, have fun with Jenna and tell her I said hello,”

Therese could hear a muffled _I will’_ as Dannie left, leaving her alone in the apartment. She turned her attention back to the pile of clothes, quickly sorting it into two piles, one for the rejects and the other for her possible clothing options. She couldn’t find the rest of her dress pants, she assumed they were at the dry cleaning along with her beige ones.

_Damn it Dannie!_

She finally decided on tights paired with a black skirt and white blouse. She inspected herself in the full length mirror that sat against her wall. The skirt fell half way down her thighs, she worried it was a bit scandalous considering the professionality of where she worked. She bit her lip as she continued to scrutinize her figure, she had always been self conscious about her body, she didn’t have the womanly curves that so many men desired. She had always been skinny, growing up with obnoxious nicknames like _skinny bones_ or _twig._

She shook off the thoughts, _that was a long time ago,_ she reminded herself, she was not the same girl she had been five years ago. Thank god she wasn't- that girl had been the worst parts of her and she was glad that she was long dead and buried.

She looked down at her watch, it was seven fifteen, leaving her barely enough time to drive to pick up her boss’s coffee and make it back to work.

_Today was going to be a rough day_

________________

  
  


People bustled through the streets, nearly knocking into Therese as she stood, gazing up at the giant building in front of her. She could smell the new york summer, a completely unique- but disgusting smell at times. The corner of her mouth upturned into a smirk as a cabbie yelled at a jay walker that had run in front of his car. 

_New York City never changes_

She adjusted the strap of her purse, a new feeling of confidence surging through her, it didn’t matter if her boss was the scariest person on earth. She glanced down at her watch, she only had a few minutes to get to her floor before her boss bit her head off. Carol Aird wasn’t one to tolerate tardiness, the woman was a force of nature. Everyone stood up a bit straighter when she walked into the room, not wanting to be on the receiving end of one of her rebukes.

She had only been working for Mrs. Aird for less than a month, but she could already see why her coworkers had dubbed her the “ _Ice Queen_ “. Carol was a no-nonsense woman, she spared no one when it came to her criticisms. But Carol was still mostly a mystery to her, her office held no sentimental trinkets aside from one picture of a young woman who looked eerily similar to her. Despite her intimidating nature Therese couldn’t help but feel attracted to her. 

Maybe it was the way her eyes seemed to resemble shards of ice, or those deliciously high cheekbones that seemed to have been sculpted by the gods themselves. _Whatever it was_ \- Therese tried to ignore it as best she could, she had a job to do- one which did _not_ involve ogling Carol Aird _._

She clutched the cup of coffee in her hand, she had been in such a rush that she had forgotten to get herself a coffee, only ordering Carol’s. 

_Is there anything worse than starting the day off with no caffeine?_

She savored the last moments of peace before the elevator opened up, revealing two very angry blue eyes.

_Fuck_

_“_ You’re late Miss.Belivet, you know I don't tolerate tardiness,” she hissed, cold eyes glaring at her.

Therese felt her ears burn with shame, she knew that the whole office was watching their interaction, pity lacing their gazes.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Aird, It won’t happen again,”

“ I know it won’t, because if it does Miss. Belivet-” she paused, looking back at her with those steely blue eyes, “You'll find yourself without a job,”

She trailed behind Carol, following her like a dog who had just been kicked. She made eye contact with one of her co-workers, he gave her a sympathetic smile and mouthed ‘are you okay?’ She only nodded back, averting her gaze to Carol’s black heels.

Her co-workers name was Oliver and he had been kind to her when she first arrived, showing her around and giving her tips on how to stay on Carol’s good side. He was good looking and he had this boyish charm to him that she was sure drove the ladies crazy.

He had flirted with her, complimenting her eyes and asking her to lunch but she politely declined. She did think he was cute and didn’t discriminate when it came to gender, but she didn’t think it was a good idea to get involved with a coworker.

Workplace romances rarely ended well.

She followed Carol into her office, flinching slightly when she slammed the door shut, clearly she had chosen the wrong day to be late.

Carol sat down in her chair letting out a huff, she looked down at her reports, brows furrowing in concentration as she read through them. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Therese, still standing at the foot of her door, frozen like a deer in headlights.

“ _Well?_ ” she snapped “Are you going to stand there all day, or actually get some work done, Miss Belivet,” she asked, not actually look for an answer.

Carol didn’t bother to look up from her reports, continuing to work as the girl stood at the foot of her door. The girl had only been working for her for less than a month, Jane (her previous assistant) was on maternity leave and decided to take a year off to spend with her husband and daughter, so the situation was only temporary.

Carol knew that she was being harsh on her, but Therese was a grown woman and had a job to do- she would not coddle her. She saw Therese snap to attention, her words finally getting through to her.

“I have an event to attend later this evening, one which you will accompany me to, make sure my schedule is clear,”

“Of course Mrs.Aird, here is your coffee” 

Carol briefly looked up from her work, eyeing the coffee cup in Therese’s hand. She took the cup, her cold demeanor softening slightly. She watched Therese exit her office, scuttling off to make calls and arrange appointments. 

She took a sip of her drink, pleased that Therese had gotten her order right. She let herself think of her new assistant. The young brunette was still a mystery to her, she found that she could read people quite easily but with Therese- she felt like there was more to the girl than met the eye. She was quiet and reserved, never engaging Carol unless she had too. But she supposed that was everyone who had to interact with her in the office. 

But there was something- a _flicker_ in Therese that had caught her attention. She had seen it come to life briefly- during her first week as Carol’s assistant when they had run into one of Carol’s business associates. 

Luca Lexignton, Carol had worked with him in the past and he had a reputation for being a flirt- and a misogynist.

They had exchanged pleasantries and of course Luca had hit on her and made some misogynistic joke aimed at Therese. She had glanced at Therese out of the corner of her eye, noticing how the brunette's eyes suddenly narrowed- a storm of emotions in those emerald green eyes. Luca, however, didn’t notice as he was too busy chuckling at his own sexist joke. But as quickly as it had come, it had disappeared, squashed down and replaced with a forced laugh.

There was something more to her, hidden just beneath the surface that was desperately waiting for a chance to show itself. Despite how much Therese intrigued her, she didn't let it show, keeping up her icy facade. She continued to work on her reports, pushing Therese to the back of her mind.

_______

The clock was nearing four thirty, Therese anxiously fiddled with her leather cord bracelet, soon enough she and Carol would leave to attend the event Carol had been invited to. She never liked large group events, she found that large crowds and forced small talk made her ansty and uncomfortable. She preferred to remain in the shadows, away from the unfamiliar people and prodding questions.

Her eyes darted back and forth, waiting for Carol’s office door to open. Sure enough, Carol came out, dressed in her tailored navy pantsuit. Therese couldn’t help but let her gaze travel over Carol’s form. The suit fit her perfectly, showing subtle feminine curves while staying classy. 

“Are you ready Miss Belivet?”

Therese’s head snapped up, a small blush tinting her cheeks as she made eye contact with Carol. She wasn't sure if Carol had noticed her staring, but if she did she didn’t give anything away- her face remaining neutral.

“Yes Mrs. Aird, the cab is waiting downstairs,”

Carol only nodded, briskly walking to the exit without waiting to see if Therese would follow. Therese quickly followed after her, trying to match her confident strides. They quickly made their way downstairs, spotting the cab parked on the curb. 

They quickly got in, Therese sitting in the back of the cab along with Carol. She felt the car lurch forward into drive, peeling away from the sidewalk. She leaned her head against the window, watching the buildings pass by as they made their way through the city. 

She stole a glance at Carol out of the corner of her eye, even if the woman was a witch at times there were rare moments when she was nice. She couldn’t lie- when Carol gave her those small grins it made her heart flutter. Her hair was in perfect blonde waves, falling just above her shoulders. Her manicured nails sat neatly in her lap, bright red nail polish adorning them. 

She turned her attention back to the window, they were nearly at the venue. She felt her stomach drop when she noticed where exactly they were.

_You got to be fucking kidding me_

The building that she was staring at was the same building where the launch party was taking place. Her face paled at the amount of people walking into the building, she couldn’t do this, she had to find a way out, she-

“Therese?”

At the sound of Carol calling her name she looked up, Carol was looking down at her from the open cab door, a slightly concerned look on her face. She took a deep breath, trying to settle her nerves. She would later realize that this was the first time Carol had addressed her by her first name.

“Sorry Mrs.Aird, I’m coming,” She gave her a weak smile, hoping her boss couldn’t tell that she was freaking out internally. She quickly stepped out of the car, following Carol inside.

_Okay don’t panic- Maybe they're just taking place at the same venue_

Despite her wishful thinking, she knew that possibility was little to none. She tucked her hands into her coat pockets, desperately trying to make herself smaller. She logically knew that no one would know that she was the author but she was still paranoid and would rather be far away from here.

They entered the building, it was a relatively large open space, people milling around as they waited for the event to start. There was a bar to one side, serving people alcohol and small horderves. 

She noticed there was an easel with a giant poster of her book displayed at the entrance. Dannie had designed the cover with some input from Therese, if she was going to be honest with herself she was never that interested in drawing _nor_ was she any good at it- that was Dannie’s shtick. She was never much of an artist (unless you considered writing a form of art) but she did enjoy helping Dannie make the cover. 

On the cover stood an obscured figure of a woman at the top of a hill, watching as the world burned under her. She had chosen it due to the particularly dark nature of her book, it dealt with dark themes and at times depressing truths. She had poured her heart and soul into the book, modeling some of it after her particularly traumatic childhood.

“ Carol !”

Therese didn’t even realize someone had approached them until the woman was practically on top of them. She looked up making brief eye contact with chocolate brown eyes. She stood slack jawed as the woman took Carol into an embrace.

“ Y..You’re Abigail Gerhard,” She gaped, she was sure she was making a fool out of herself but she couldn't seem to care. In front of her was standing one of her literary heroes, never in a million years did she think she would get the chance to meet her.

“ I sure am,” She laughed, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

“I’m a big fan of your work, I loved your latest novel _The Time Of The Damned,_ It-” she was interrupted by a dry cough from Carol, 

“I'm sure Ms. Gerhard doesn't want to hear your ramblings Miss Belivet,” 

She looked down quickly, her ears tinted pink, anger bubbling in the pit of her stomach. She knew Carol was downright rude at times and normally she didn't take it personally, but _this_ \- embarrassing her in front of one of her biggest role models was just something she couldn't shake off .

“Oh don’t be vile Carol,” Abby chastised, turning back to Therese “I'm delighted that you enjoyed my book,” 

Therese gave her a small smile, shy under the older woman’s penetrating gaze. Carol stood close by, an annoyed expression on her face.

“Carol, why don't you introduce us?”

“Abby this is Therese Belivet- my assistant while Jane is on maternity leave,”

“Well it’s very nice to meet you, Therese Belivet,” she extended her hand, taking Therese’s small hand in her own. Her grip was soft but firm, her hand warm in Therese’s hand. Abby seemed to emanate a warm feeling, something that Therese found particularly comforting. She was curious to how polar-opposites like Carol and Abby could be friends. While Carol was closed off and frigid, Abby was warm and inviting. 

“I’m glad you could make it Carol, I know these things aren’t really your style but I was delighted when I got the offer to read of few chapters of Jamie Phillips latest work,”

“ _You're_ the stand in for Jamie Philips?” she gawked, her heart beginning to beat rapidly at the newfound information. No _way_ Abigail Gerhard was reading her book. Therese felt slightly faint with dizziness. 

Worry ate away at Therese, suddenly extremely self conscious. She was nowhere near as good as Abigail Gerhard in her opinion (of course she was biased, Abigail being her idol and all but she felt she was justly biased). She didn’t want to disappoint Abby, she wouldn’t survive it if she did.

_“_ I am- is that so surprising Miss Belivet?” 

“ O-oh- not at all Ms. Gerhard, I-I just didn’t think an author as big and talented as you would be reading it-” she stumbled over her words, her eyes flicking up to meet Abby’s. At the sight of Abby’s raised eyebrow she blanched slightly, worrying that she had offended the author, “-not to say that you think yourself to good to be here- I’m sure you’re-” she paused realizing she had begun to ramble, 

_Leave it to me to find a way to embarrass myself and offend my literary hero in one go_

She looked down at her shoes, avoiding eye contact with the women, afraid to see the looks of annoyance, or even worse- _distaste_. She curled her hands into fists, letting them rest at her sides. 

To her surprise a deep laugh made its way out of Abby’s mouth. She looked up, confusion written clear across her face. She had been sure that she had offended the author, but Abby was standing in front of her laughing. She let out a nervous laugh, not sure as to what was going on.

“ You’re a peculiar one aren’t you, Therese Belivet,” Abby laughed once more, her eyes twinkling with mirth as she looked at Therese.

“I-I guess,”

“ Oh don't worry honey, it's very refreshing,”

She felt a flush creep up her neck, a couple beats passed before she said anything. She was about to respond when Carol interrupted her.

“Why don’t you get me and Ms. Gerhard some drinks? Lord knows I'll need one to get me through the rest of this event,” 

“Oh stop Carol, if you actually read their books I think you would actually really enjoy them,”

Carol snorted, casting a disdainful glance at the stack of books atop one of the pull out tables. 

“Yeah right, you wouldn’t catch me dead with one of _those_ books _,_ I really don't understand the need for anonymity, if you're going to suck, do it with with your head held high”

Carol’s judgement of her books really pissed her off, so much so that she had to bite the inside of her cheek to suppress the retort that almost slipped out of her mouth. She had read the more harsh reviews of her book, they had spared nothing and yet she had taken it in stride, filing away their advice into her brain for next time. 

But Carol’s arrogant demeanor had struck a nerve in her, riling her up like none of the other reviews had been able to do before. Maybe it was because Carol reminded her of the rich snobs of her youth, there had been plenty of them around during her time at Riverview School of Fine Arts. It was a torturous experience and it had left a mental stain on her mind, she _hated_ rich snobs with a passion. Whatever it was, Carol somehow managed to push her buttons like no one else.

“What would you like, Mrs. Aird?” she muttered, trying to maintain her composure.

“Get me two dry Martinis, one for me and one for Ms. Gerhard,”

Therese looked to Abby, unsure if that was what the author really wanted. Abby rolled her eyes but nodded encouragingly, giving her a small smile. Therese let her eyes fall back to her boss, only to have a chill roll up her spine at the cold stare Carol was giving her. She scuttled away to the bar, cursing Carol as she went.

_what a witch_

Therese let the bitter thought run rampant through her brain. She couldn’t understand how Abby could stand to be around her, much less choose to be friends with her. To think that Therese had just been ogling Carol earlier, staring at her and imagining what it would be like to kiss her. Therese let out a bitter laugh, she always did manage to find herself attracted to assholes. Why did Carol have a problem with her books? She shook her head, it didn’t matter what her boss thought.

But as Therese made her way over to the bartender she couldn’t help but replay Carol’s words. Why did this woman manage to get under skin so much? She let out a sigh, rubbing her temple as a budding headache forced its way into her skull.

“Hello Miss, what can I get for you this evening? “

“Two dry martinis please and one Jameson on the rocks please,”

She leaned against the bar, dropping her head into her hands. What a giant _fucking_ mess, she was at her own book launch, despite her identity being hidden away from the public. She had met her literary hero and had made a complete fool out of herself, and _Carol-_ Therese couldn’t even think about the blonde without becoming angry. It began to fester deep in her chest, spreading throughout her body like hot coiling tendrils. The memory of Carol’s upturned nose and her horrid behavior causing a deep scowl to form on her face, the woman perplexed her- one second she was being civil, next she was practically jumping down her throat.

The bartender quickly came back, setting the two martini glasses on the counter before pushing the glass of irish whiskey towards her. She lifted her head up, green eyes peeking out from under long lashes. She adjusted her hands so they were cradling her cheeks, elbows resting on top of the granite bar top.

“How’d you know?” she asked, studying the gentleman in front of her. He was young, probably no older than twenty two.

“ Call it a hunch, you don’t seem like a martini girl,”

“ Well you guessed right,” she mumbled, bringing the glass up to her lips. The light floral scent combined with the signature smell of alcohol drawing her in. She took a sip, the perfect balance of spicy, nutty and vanilla hitting her tongue. She swallowed, a warm burn following as it made its way down her throat. She didn’t mind the burn, enjoying the warm feeling spreading through her as the alcohol settled in her stomach.

She idly traced her finger around the rim of her glass, she glanced back at Abby and Carol to find them still talking amongst themselves, suddenly Carol threw her head back and laughed. A deep genuine laugh that surprised Therese, she had never seen her laugh before- not like that. 

_She looks radiant when she’s laughing freely like that_

The thought left Therese feeling conflicted and confused, she didn’t entirely understand her infatuation with Carol, I mean Carol- for a lack of a better word, was a _cunt_. But sometimes Therese saw slip ups in her demeanor, allowing Therese to go home early despite there being work to get done or the rare instances when Carol joked with her, making borderline flirtatious jokes aimed at Therese. The woman was hot and cold and it drove Therese absolutely wild.

She took another sip of her drink, watching as the guests milled about, eagerly waiting for the reading to start. They had only been at the event for less than fifteen minutes but she guessed that Abby was due to read her book soon, it was the main part of the launch party after all. 

_What if they didn’t like her book? What if-_

“No way! Therese, is that really you?” 

Therese’s blood ran cold at the sound of the all too familiar voice calling her name. She turned her head, praying that her ears were deceiving her.

“ It is you! It’s been too long,” She was quickly pulled into a bone crushing hug. She stood stiff in his embrace, the all too familiar smell of cheap cologne burning her nostrils. It had been years since she'd last seen him- _Richard._

She had to remind herself to breathe, forcing her lungs to take in air. 

_Breathe- it's okay_

“ I can’t believe I ran into you! I mean look at you, you look amazing Terry,”

She cringed inwardly at the nickname, she had hated it in high school and she still hated it now. She faintly recalled her plan if ever ran into one of her past schoolmates, she would march up to them, head held high and show them how much she had changed. She wouldn’t be quiet mousy Therese, _no-_ she would give them a piece of her mind and confront them about all the horrible things they had done to her. But of course that was a pipe dream, as she now stood quivering before Richard, once again the skinny girl from Hunts Point.

“Thank you Richard, its… it's good to see you,” she lied, hoping that after a few minutes of painful small talk he would lose interest and leave.

“ You too Terry, look at you! Finally got some meat on your bones!” The teasing hadn’t been meant as malicious but it still hit her like a slap to the face. His words opened up old wounds that had long since been healed- or so she had thought.

“ Wait til’ Jeanette sees you! She's not going to believe it,” 

“ Jeanette?” she croaked, her mouth suddenly dry.

“ Oh! I forgot to mention I’m here with Jeanette, Cy and Eliot-” he replied, pointing his thumb back at a group of people gathered about thirty feet away, “-You remember Jeanette and Cy don’t you?”

“How could I forget ?” she murmured

“ You’ve got to come with me! We all have to catch up-” he insisted, not bothering to wait for Therese’s response as he grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the group.

Therese yelped at the sudden contact and movement, stumbling slightly as Richard all but dragged her towards the group.

“ N..No really I don’t want to impose on you guys,”

“You’re not! C’mon they're just over there! ”

Therese began to tremble as they continued to approach the group, her heartbeat roaring in her ears. She felt faint as he continued to tug her along, not noticing her distressed state. She planted her feet on the ground, straining against his vice like grip, but it was no use- she was slowly but surely approaching the table she so desperately wanted to avoid. She began to hyperventilate, her chest rising and failing as she tried to suck air into her lungs. 

She felt like a trapped animal, one that was willing to gnaw off its own limb to escape. She wanted so badly to wrench her arm out of Richard’s grasp, to turn tail and flee from her former classmates. But she couldn’t, she felt paralyzed as he continued to shepherd them towards his friends. 

“Just _where-_ do you think you're going?”

Therese had never been more relieved to hear that domineering voice, she quickly snapped her head around- desperately searching for the one person who could save her from this mess.

Carol was standing behind them, well now in front of them- with her arms crossed and an annoyed expression on her face. She held her breath, waiting for Carol to say something. She saw Carol’s eyes flick down, her eyes narrowing when she noticed Richard’s hold on her arm. For a second Therese thought she saw concern flash in those blue eyes, but she must've been mistaken because in the next second Carol was scowling at them both, her voice carrying a chilling bite as she spoke to Richard.

“I don't remember giving you time off Miss Belivet, get back to work. And you-” she scowled, giving Richard a look so cold Therese swore that he was shaking in his boots, “-I don’t appreciate you stealing my employee away for a fatuous rendezvous while she’s working.”

Richard began to speak but Carol held her hand up, effectively silencing him.

“I don't care about your excuses, don’t bother Therese again,”

Richard looked like he wanted to say something, his mouth opening before closing quickly, clearly thinking better of it. He muttered something under his breath, glancing at Carol warily before turning back to Therese.

“ It was nice seeing you Terry, I really mean it-” he smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder, “Here’s my number, we should get lunch sometime- catch up for old times sake you know?” he gave her a wink, squeezing her shoulder before leaving to return to his friends.

As she watched Richard walk away she let out a breath she hadn't even realized she had been holding, slumping her shoulders in relief.

“ Are you alright Therese? You look a bit pale,” The way Carol had asked sounded indifferent, but her eyes gave her away, genuine concern showing as she looked at Therese.

“Y...Yes I’m fine I just wasn’t expecting to run into him, It’s… been a while since I’ve last seen him, I wasn’t able to prepare myself...” she trailed off, realizing how strange the last part sounded. She winced, hopefully Carol wouldn’t question her about him, she didn’t think she could come up with a very convincing lie at the moment.

Carol only nodded, not pushing the matter further.

“Oh my god- No freaking way! !”

And just when Therese thought she was in the clear- another ghost from her past had to show up.

_fuck fuck fuck fuck- I need to get out of here, for the love of god-_

_“_ Well, well- Look who it is!” The singsong voice called, making Therese shiver- and not in a good way. 

“J...Jeanie,” she breathed, taking in the woman in front of her. She looked the same and yet different at the exact same time. Her blonde hair which had barely reached past her chin the last time she saw her was now dyed a deep chocolate brown and down to her waist. Jeanie was dressed in a tight fitting black body con dress with mesh sleeves and a square neckline. Five years ago she would have been rendered speechless by the fact that Jeanie was even talking to her in a social situation but now she was more concerned with escaping the hell which she called her book launch. She broke into a nervous sweat, it had been bad enough running into Richard but now Jeanie? This was a disaster.

Jeanie was on them in a second, she looked like a lioness on the hunt, licking her chops as her eyes settled on Therese. Therese saw Jeanie do a double take- just noticing Carol for the first time, her gaze traveled up and down Carol, brazenly checking her out. She looked back at Therese, a contemplative look on her face and an all too familiar gleam in her eye. She knew what Jeanie was thinking- What the hell was a woman like Carol was doing with a girl like her? 

It wasn’t that Therese was ugly, she knew she wasn’t but she had always considered herself rather plain. Never sticking out in the crowd, not that she really minded, it was easier to fade into the background. But Carol was the living antonym to herself, she was confident, drop dead gorgeous, charming, well educated, quick witted- did she need to go on? People like Carol did _not_ associate with people like _her_. The thought left her feeling bitter, I mean how was she able to compete? 

“ Well hello to you too _Bunny_ -” Therese flushed slightly, the nickname bringing back- well lets just say _compromising_ memories. “-are you going to introduce me to this tall drink of water?”

“This is my boss, Carol Aird, I’m her temporary assistant while her assistant is on maternity leave” she awkwardly introduced, praying that Jeanie wouldn’t embarrass her, “Mrs. Aird this is Jeanne Dupont, we were friends in High School,” friendship is not how she would have described her and Jeannie’s relationship, but it was easier to lie than to explain exactly what they were.

“Nice to meet you Ms. Dupont,” 

“Please call me Jeannie,” she smiled flirtatiously, “But I do have to say I’m surprised, I never expected for Therese to be doing a job like this,”

“Oh really?” Carol replied, her interest piqued, “Why is that?”

“Oh well Therese was quite the party animal, always looking for the thrill in life. You should’ve seen her back then,”

“Is that so?” Carl glanced back at her and Therese could feel her face burn with embarrassment.

“Yes! Once when we were at this frat party despite being seniors, so we were just chilling when a freshman in college came over and challenged Therese to a chugging contest because he had heard rumors that she was undefeated, it was so funny- she absolutely annihilated him-” she laughed, wiping the corner of her eyes as tears began to accumulate, “But that wasn’t even the best part! Something you should know about Therese is that when she gets drunk- she gets _drunk drunk-_ so for the rest of the night I had to hunt her down to prevent her from doing anything _too_ stupid,”

Therese clenched her teeth, it was true Jeannie had kept her from doing anything too over the top but she had still let Therese embarrass herself plenty. She was the laughing stock of the school for the next few days after that.

“Jeannie can I talk to you?” she muttered, glancing at her boss to try and read her expression, but Carol remained nonchalant, well except for the small smile that tugged at the corner of her mouth.

“Sure thing Bunny,”

Therese moved them a couple of feet away, turning to Jeannie.

  
  


“What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to make me lose my job!?,” she whispered, borderline hissing as she took in Jeanie’s nonchalant expression.

“What? I'm just trying to lighten the mood, live a little,”

Therese scoffed, her definition of living and Jeanie’s was _very_ different.

“Honestly, you used to be fun. Is it because of that Ezra girl? She was such a stick in the mud, I can’t believe you ever hung out with h-” 

“Shut the fuck up,”

Jeanie looked astonished, Therese had _never_ stood up to her before, not ever. Therese could give two fucks, she was so angry she was shaking, her fists clenching as she tried to control herself. There was a fire in her eyes, one that she would not put out this time.

“ Don’t you _ever,_ talk about Ezra like that,” She spat, seething as she continued to watch her former flame. Years ago she had idolized the very ground Jeanie walked on, but now all she could feel for the woman was contempt. She had been in a vulnerable state of mind when she’d been sucked into Jeanie’s toxic social circle. She had naively thought they had actually liked her, but no- they had only tolerated her because she was Jeanie’s new plaything. It hadn’t been the best way to cope, and she had only ended up more broken, left abandoned and brokenhearted after Jeanie got tired of her.

“What did I say? Th-” she reached out, trying to grab hold of Therese’s arm but she shrugged her off. 

“We are not friends, we _never_ were and you fucking know that- So don’t come in here acting like you actually gave a fuck about me. I could handle you and your childish teasing but I will not allow you to disrespect Ezra like that. Leave me the fuck alone, and go back to whatever hole you crawled out of,”

For once in her life Jeanie was rendered speechless, and Therese couldn’t help but feel a little smug under all her rage.

“Well then I guess I’ll leave,” she hissed, no longer trying to keep up the nice girl façade. 

Therese watched her go, keeping up her brave front until after Jeanie was out of view. She turned around to leave, stopping in her tracks when she noticed Carol standing there, her eyes wide in shock. _Crap-_ Therese had completely forgotten that Carol had been standing next to them, watching their interaction this whole time. It was too much to deal with, Richard, Jeanie, meeting Abby, almost running into Cy and Jeanette- it was too much, she had reached her limit.

Therese’s heart beat roared in her ears, effectively shutting out any noise from the outside world. Her heart felt like a skipping stone, irregular beats thudding in her chest. She let out a gasp, clutching her chest as she tried to breathe, her whole body trembling as she tried to calm down. She felt like she was being held underwater, unable to breathe as she sunk to the bottom of her metaphorical sea bed.

“Therese? Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?”

Therese gave no indication that she had heard Carol, her voice sounded so far away- muffled even though she was standing right next to her.

“ Therese I want you to listen to me okay? Concentrate on your breathing and close your eyes, can you do that for me?”

Therese managed a small nod, squeezing her eyes shut and concentrating on her breathing just as Carol had advised her to do. Her anxiety picked up again, causing her breath to hitch and speed up again, starting to fall back into her panic attack.

“Therese, I know what you are feeling is scary but it’s not dangerous, you can get through this,”

Slowly Therese’s breathing began to even out, no longer gasping for air.

“Good, very good Therese,”

Therese slowly opened her eyes, coming back to the present once her panic attack began to loosen its death grip on her. 

She made eye contact with Carol, a beat passing before she could take in what just happened. Oh my god- she had freaked out in front of her boss, nausea swarmed her head as she realized. She was sure she was beet-red with embarrassment, she couldn’t even face Carol at the moment.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Aird, I-I have to go,” She rushed out, her eyes downcast as she avoided her boss’s gaze. She was suffocating, she had to get out. She didn’t wait for Carol to respond, turning tail and fleeing towards the exit. Leaving a stunned Carol to piece together what the hell just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya ! This is my first time publishing fanfic I hope y’all enjoy it! Sorry for any mistakes/typos, I’m really excited to get this chapter out hahahha. 
> 
> Each chapter will be around 3k-8k words long (sorry if it’s too long oof) and I hope to publish the second chapter in the coming month, due to personal reasons I’m not able to work on my writing rn but I wanted to post this chapter since I had it laying around :)
> 
> Also if the formatting is weird I apologize, I’m copying and pasting it from my google docs lmao.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! (Ps. I would love to hear your guys’s thoughts on the first chapter, so be sure to comment If you can!)


	2. God Is A Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning NSFW! I repeat some NSFW in this chapter! Also warning gross Chad near the end. I hope yall enjoy this (i hope its not too long lmao, let me know if it is) and dont forget to leave your opinions and thougths down below! <3

II.

* * *

Carol watched Therese leave, a feeling totally foreign to her settling in the pit of her stomach, what was it? Dread? Anger? No- she was _worried_ , Caroline Ross Aird was worried about her assistant. Unanswered questions swirled around in her mind, who the hell was Jeanie to Therese? Who was Ezra? And most importantly what the _fuck_ \-- just happened?

Her timid, quiet Therese had finally snapped. 

It was bound to happen but she didn't expect it to happen so soon, and definitely not in front of her. She had assumed that Therese would snap and she would hear about it in passing, considering Therese was know to be kind and reserved. She had this overwhelming urge to chase after her, ask her what happened and if everything was alright- it gnawed at her even though Therese was long gone by now. She decided to go outside, pointlessly looking around for Therese as she exited the building. She leaned against a wall, grabbing a cigarette from her carton and putting it between her lips. She was alone for a couple minutes, lost in her thoughts when she heard a voice speak,

"Need a light?"

She hadn't even heard the backdoor open, surprised to see Abby standing in front of her with a lighter. Carol didn't say anything, she just wordlessly leaned forward and allowed Abby to light her cigarette. She took a couple of puffs, enjoying the feeling of warm smoke entering her lungs. They stood like that for a couple minutes, enjoying the comfortable silence.

“Hey where did that brunette go? Teresa, was it?”

“ _Therese-_ had to leave, a family emergency she said,” the lie rolled off her tongue before she could even process it, she didn’t know why she was lying to Abby- they didn’t hide anything from each other, that just came with the territory of having known each other for so long. But for some reason she did not want to share Therese’s breakdown with Abby.

“Well that sucks, I wanted to get to _know_ her better, if you know what I mean,” she winked, sexual innuendo dripping from her words. An ugly feeling of possessiveness bubbled in the pit of Carol’s stomach, it was like a punch to her gut, catching her way off guard.

“My employees are off limits Abigail Gerhard,” She reminded her, but Abby fake pouted while giving her puppy dog eyes, “I’m serious- and besides- I think she lives with her boyfriend or something, I've seen him drop her off once or twice,”

It was true, she had been on her way into the building one day when she saw Therese get out of a car and lean back in the window to give the man a peck on the cheek, waving as he sped off into the city. It was too bad that Therese was her employee and was already spoken for, she did seem to have an innate sexual attraction to her. She was brought out of her thoughts by Abby letting out a deep sigh,

“That's too bad, she was a cutie too,” she said, leaning against the wall “Nevermind that though, how is Rindy? Not feeling homesick is she?”

“A little, she said she misses New York but California is nice-” she took a long drag of her cigarette, letting the smoke dissipate before continuing, “-She said her dorm mate is nice, shy- but nice,”

“Is Harge still down there visiting her?”

“Yes, he told me he’s staying for another week or two before coming back,”

She heard Abby mumble a ‘ _good riddance’_ under her breath but chose to ignore it, she didn’t feel like talking about Harge tonight.

Abby looked down at her watch, muttering something incomprehensible before looking back up at Carol, “It’s almost time for me to go up, I’m telling you Carol, if you’d actually read their books instead of acting like a snob you’d actually enjoy them. So please come in and listen, at least for a little bit,” Carol didn’t say anything, instead choosing to look up at the sky. Abby’s shoulder slumped, turning away to go back inside,

“I’ll think about it,”

Carol couldn't see Abby but she knew the brunette was grinning like a schoolgirl, probably doing a little dance as she went back inside. Carol stayed out a little longer, continuing to look up at the sky, the light pollution and smog of the city hiding any stars from view. She frowned, her mind wandering back to Therese.

“Oh Therese, what am I going to do with you,” she murmured, putting out her cigarette, disposing of it properly before making her way back inside. 

_____

The cool night air nipped at Therese’s skin, causing her to shiver as she continued to walk down the deserted street. She had been walking for five minutes, trying to calm herself down as she felt another panic attack rear its head. God she felt so pathetic and stupid and just absolutely humiliated- how would she face Carol come Monday morning? She just couldn't, not after Carol had seen her break down like that. At least Carol hadn't been a bitch about it, that was one pro on a long list of cons she supposed. Jesus, what was she going to say if Carol asked her what happened, there was a ninety percent chance she wouldn't but her brain just wouldn't let it go. Her brain was hurting just thinking about it, what if- what if- 

Therese's overthinking was cut off by a the sound of a ping and a familiar buzz from her clutch. She quickly fished her phone out, thankful for the distraction. 

**Dannie** : I’m gonna spend the night at Jenna’s, your dry cleaning is on your bed, text me when you can! Luv ya :)

_Therese is typing..._

Therese nibbled on her bottom lip, her thumbs hovering over the keyboard- what would she say? Hey Dannie! I know you're spending time with your girlfriend that you barely get to see as it is but I thought you should know that I ran into my high school bullies and had a panic attack and am now walking down the dark streets of New York City alone! Ha, yea right, that'd give him a heart attack. Instead she decided on the less life threatening option-

**Therese** : Alr, I’m gonna head over to Lucky’s. I’ll text you when I get there, have fun with Jenna and i love you too you goof

  
  


Up until that every moment Therese had no destination in mind, her only goal was to get out of that building and let her feet take her as far away from it as possible. Her tunnel vision had not lessened until after the second panic attack ceased- leaving her sweating and shaky on random street she did not recognize.

She looked around trying to regain some sense of direction.Thankfully as she walked she began to recognize the street signs, making her way towards a place Dannie jokingly called her second home.

The bar which was named Lucky's was an old, but spacious bar located in Greenwich Village, it was a long ways away from her and Dannie's shared apartment but she didn't mind, it was her favorite place to go for a plethora of reasons. She arrived around twenty minutes later, surprised to see a line forming outside of the bar with a bouncer standing at the foot of the door way. She quickly identified the bouncer, it was Leonardo, who wasn't even a bouncer at all, he was a new bartender who had just begun working there. Luckily she had become quick friends with him.

She walked to the front of the line, earning some insults and shouts but she ignored them, heading straight for Leonardo.

"Full night today huh, Leo?" 

Leo quickly looked up, a big smile spreading across his face when he recognized her,

"Güerita! Dónde estabas? You just disappeared last night," He smiled, ignoring the angry glares from the people at the front of the line.

"Oh you know, here and there-" she shrugged, "- I was a bit busy with someone,"

"Ohhh la Güerita es una loba eh?,"

"Haha, I guess you could say that," She laughed, playing along with his teasing.

"Well come on in, Gen is working right now, I'm sure she'd love to see you," She gave him a big hug, his tall frame dwarfing hers, she quickly thanked him and slid inside.

It was even more crowded inside, Therese practically had to fight her way to the bar. She let out an annoyed huff, the once calm bar that she frequented was no more. Instead the bar was packed to the brim, people practically spilling into the streets. She tried to navigate her way through the crowd, almost getting lost in the sea of people. She felt slightly claustrophobic as bodies pressed into her, alcoholic drinks and other questionable substances nearly spilling onto her. She knew she looked out of place, her work clothes making her stick out like a sore thumb. But she couldn’t bring herself to care, all that mattered to her right now was getting to the bar and drinking the night's events away.

She briefly got lost in the throng of people, people towered over her small stature, obscuring her view of the bar.

“Therese! Over here!”

She caught a glimpse of the short redhead calling her name from the bar, waving her arms so Therese could see her from her place on the makeshift dance floor. She quickly shouldered her way through the crowd, earning a couple of glares and shouts as she waded through the crowd.

She slid into one of the bar stools, shrugging off her cardigan and sliding it onto the counter top. She wiped off beads of sweat that began to accumulate on her brow, the bar felt like a damn sauna.

_Maybe I should have changed…_

She felt uncomfortably hot in her skirt and blouse, the fabric of her tights sticking to her sweaty skin. She fanned herself, looking around for the short brunette. She quickly spied her down at the other end of the bar, making cocktails for a young couple. She waited for her to finish up, her sour mood lifting slightly when the girl’s eyes landed on her, the girl’s face turning into a beaming smile.

“Hey you!” 

“Hiya Gen,” she let out a light laugh, Gen’s exuberant mood infectious.

“What’s with the full house tonight? I almost got trampled on my way over here,”

“Boss did a bunch of advertising and specials in honor of pride month,-” she cocked her head to the side, studying Therese curiously, “-something happen? You seem a bit _off_ ,”

Therese sighed tiredly, there was no point in hiding what happened earlier. Gen was a damn bloodhound when it came to figuring out what was bothering her. She could never hide anything from her- no matter how hard she tried.

“I’m going to need a drink first,”

“That bad huh?” Gen whistled.

“Absolutely _horrible_ ,” Therese groaned, stressing the horrible part. She waited patiently, watching with her cheek in her palm as Gen moved around the bar, grabbing a bottle for Therese.

“One bottle of Pilsner Urquell for you Madame,” Gen announced in a cheesy accent, bowing as she placed it on the counter in front of Therese.

“Oh shut up Gen,” she laughed, smiling at her best friend's antics. She could always count on Gen to make her feel better when she was in a funk. 

“Okay but really-” her face turned serious, her eyes piercing through Therese’s perfectly crafted façade, “What happened tonight? When I saw you in that crowd you looked like you had seen a ghost,”

“Might as well have,” she muttered, taking a big sip of her beer. She decided to not beat around the bush and just rip the band aid off- taking in a deep breath before continuing.

“I ran into Richard,”

“No fucking way! _Richard_? That dick-wad you went out with in High school?”

“Yep, the very one,” she groaned dropping her head in her hands, “ And then we ran into Jeanie right after,”

“ _We_?”

“ Yes, _we_ \- now if you'd let me finish-”

Therese quickly gave Gen a brief recap of her night, telling her about how she ended up at her own book launch, how she met her literary hero (and subsequently embarrassed herself), how she ran into Richard- nearly being forced into hanging out with Jeanette and Cy, how it was _Carol_ who came to her rescue at the last second and the disastrous meeting with Jeanie.

“ No _way_ -” Gen gasped, “-Ms. Ice Queen ended up being your knight in shining armor? That’s ironic to say the least.”

“ I know, I was so fucking relieved to hear her yelling at me-” she snorted, “-I’d never thought there’d be a day that I was glad Carol Aird was yelling at me,”

“You and me both Tezzie-” Therese smiled at the use of Gen’s nickname for her, “-from the way you talk about this woman I for sure thought that she’d get some sort of sick, sadistic pleasure from watching you loose your shit like that,”

“Oh come on I don’t make her sound _that_ bad… Do I?”

Gen didn’t look up from the glasses she was polishing, “Insufferable”

Therese let out an exasperated sigh, “ I mean she kind of is, she’s constantly on my ass, she's as approachable as a rabid dog _and_ she has me constantly running around- she’s never satisfied with my work,”

“Sounds like every other boss,” Gen quipped

“I mean don’t get me wrong, she has her moments where she’s nice and is actually pretty funny once she drops the icy façade- oh and she’s drop dead gorgeous I might add,”

“Jeez, remember to send me an invite when y’all decide the wedding date, yeah?”

If looks could kill, Gen would certainly be six feet under right now with the look Therese was giving her.

“Ha-ha Gen, very funny,”

“Thank you I try,"

They fell into a comfortable silence, well- as comfortable as you could be in a jam packed bar. Therese continued to sip her drink, letting the day’s events really sink in. 

“But seriously it was torture seeing them again-” Therese sighed, biting her lip to control the sob that threatened to escape her throat. She felt so weak and spineless, she couldn’t even face her high school bullies, how could she ever stand up to Carol? “I felt like I was fifteen again and afraid of my own shadow,”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to beat the ever loving shit out of them-” Therese gave her a pointed look, “-What? It’s not like they don’t deserve it,”

Therese just shook her head, she was just glad it was over and she (hopefully) didn’t have to see them ever again. She adjusted the collar of her blouse, her sweat causing the blouse to stick to her in uncomfortable places.

“ _Jesus-_ Therese,” Gen muttered, slightly worried at the sight of Therese’s flushed face “-you look like you're going to have a heatstroke- no thanks to that damn outfit,” she tutted, looking in disdain at Therese’s work attire

“Hey! Do you think it's _my_ choice to dress like a middle aged librarian? I hate it just as much as you do,”

“Well I don’t want you passing out in this damn bar, I have an extra dress in my locker- we're roughly the same size so it should fit. Do you want me to get it?”

If Therese was in any other state she would have politely declined and suffered in silence, but she knew she would go insane in the next five minutes if she didn't get out of her work clothes.

“Yes please, I don’t think I can manage another minute in these godforsaken clothes,”

Gen nodded, calling one of her coworkers to take her place while she fetched something from the back. 

“You’re a lifesaver Gen!” she called as the redhead made her way into the back, she couldn’t hear Gen’s response due to the music booming through the speakers but she knew that Gen had launched some sort of sarcastic remark her way.

Therese waited patiently, rhythmically tapping her fingers against the bar top to the beat of the music. Therese hadn’t been lying when she said the bar was practically overflowing, people were crowded on the dance floor, so tightly packed together it was hard to tell where one person ended and another began. She shook her head in faint amazement, the place had completely transformed in a matter of hours, turning into a makeshift club with strobe lights and gigantic speakers blasting pop music. She had to admit, the club's atmosphere was infectious, a smile gracing her features as she took in the couples dancing together.

The bar felt more carefree and welcoming, people with multi-color paint and other pride related items adorning them. A true smile graced her face, happy that there was a place where people could express themselves without fear of judgement. 

Because love is love and that is that.

“Tezzie! Stop yer’ day dreaming and get your cute little ass over here!”

Therese slid off the bar stool, glancing around out of habit more than worry before slipping behind the bar. While Therese knew she wouldn’t get in trouble for going behind the bar, she had met Derek (the owner of the bar) a couple of times and knew he didn’t care, but she still felt slightly anxious that someone would notice and yell at her.

She quickly ducked into the backroom, the once booming music now muffled as she made her way towards Gen. By the time she reached Gen the brunette was already shutting her locker, a makeup bag along with a dress clutched between her small hands. Gen turned around, a mischievous glint evident in her brown eyes, eyeing the fabric and small bag before looking back up at Therese with a cheeky grin on her face.

“Oh no, I know that look- just what are you planning Gen?”

“Just wait and see Tezzie, just wait and see.”

* * *

Ten minutes and a bunch of ‘don't make me regret this’ later Genevieve was finally done, stepping back to admire her work.

“Well hot damn, whad’ya know- there actually was a woman hiding under all those old lady clothes,”

“Shut up Gen, hand me the mirror will you? I want to see how badly you messed up my face,”

Gen smiled, grabbing the hand held mirror and handing it to Therese who took it gently, lifting up the mirror to examine her face.

“Holy shit Gen, you're a goddamn miracle worker,”

Therese gasped, astonished by the face reflecting back at her. It was her but wasn't her at the same time, she had the same features and signature green eyes but she looked nothing like the girl she had been hours before, no- this was a young woman staring back at her.

Gen had chosen a striking yet not over the top look, choosing a mixture of vibrant colors to paint on her eyelids. When she had first spied the colors she had worried that she would look like a highlighter but she was pleasantly surprised by what Gen had managed to do,

The eye shadow look was of course, related to pride, bright colors blended together to resemble a rainbow. It nicely contrasted her ivory skin tone, bringing out the greens of her eyes and giving her a tantalizing air of allure and seduction. She was bereft of speech, mouth hanging slightly agape as she continued to admire herself in the mirror. While the eye shadow was the most striking part of her look, Gen had added smaller, more subtle makeup as well.

She had applied clear lip gloss to her lips and highlighter above her cheekbones and down the bridge of her nose, making her cheekbones look more prominent and giving her skin a glow that made her look…that made her look.. she couldn’t even think of the right word to describe how she looked- extraterrestrial? No that wasn’t it, but the term she was looking for escaped her, unable to accurately describe how she looked.

“Don’t look so shocked, I barely did anything -” Gen scoffed, “-Everything that you see is one hundred percent you, well besides the multi color eye shadow- but who’s eyelids are naturally rainbow colored?” She patted Therese’s head, looking down at her with sincere eyes.

“You need to stop being so hard on yourself Therese,”

Therese looked down at her hands, playing with the rings on her fingers. Sure, everyone says “stop being so hard on yourself, you’re perfect the way you are” but do they actually mean it? The nagging feeling deep inside of her just wouldn’t go away, she felt inadequate, like she wasn't worthy of her friend’s praise and compliments. I mean she felt average in every way possible, easily replaceable and forgettable.

She felt lost, moving through life without a purpose. Everyone around her was living and technically, so was she- but she didn’t feel like she was living. Gen’s art career was taking off, Jenna and Dannie were getting serious and Sam was climbing the ranks at her work. Sure Therese had her writing but even that had started to slow, she had hit a block- unable to write without becoming frustrated and closing her laptop.

She was still somewhat underground with her writing, that was why it was so shocking to her that Abby Gerhard had read her work. She had a following that was true- but a small one, dedicated, but still small. She was nowhere near mainstream. Hopefully that would change as her newest book made its way around stores.

A gentle hand made its way under Therese’s chin, lifting her face up so she had to look into Gen’s eyes.

“Hey, where’d you go just now?”

Gen’s eyes were so sincere and filled with concern that she began to tear up, she did not deserve Gen’s kindness, not after everything she’d done.

She blinked away the tears, turning away to fan her face so she wouldn’t ruin Gen’s hard work. 

“I’m- I’m just thinking about what have I done to deserve your kindness especially after-” she began, her lip trembling as she tried to continue her sentence but Gen stopped her, placing her hands on Therese’s face and forcing her to look at her once again.

“Don’t even say what I think you’re about to say, it wasn’t your fault-” she gave her a sad smile, wiping away a stray tear from Therese’s face with her thumb, “-never was and never will be,”

“I’m sorry,”

“There's no reason to apologize, it just wasn’t the right time,”

“But-”

“No but’s, I love you to the moon and back, nothing will ever change that- I’d love you even if you turned into a worm,” she teased, poking Therese’s side with her finger, “-an ugly, wrinkly worm, but still my worm nonetheless,”

Therese smiled, a genuine one that pulled at the corners of her mouth, she pulled Gen into a tight embrace, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder.

“Thank you,” she whispered, wrapping her arms tighter around Gen’s middle as if she would suddenly disappear, a figment of her imagination.

“I’m not going anywhere okay? You're stuck with me for life kid,” Gen murmured, seemingly sensing Therese’s worrisome thoughts.

They stood there for a couple more seconds before Gen pulled away, patting her arm affectionately.

“Okay enough of this sappy shit, go change into this dress, oh and wear these-” Gen quickly grabbed a pair of shoes from the floor, shoving them into a confused Therese's hands. Gen noticed the look on her face and chuckled, "What? Did you really think I was going to let you go out there in loafers? Please ,"

She would have been mildly insulted if it wasn't the truth, her loafers were comfy but they were definitely not dancing shoes. The shoes Gen had handed were pumps, black just like the dress but when she looked at the bottom of them she gasped.

"Gen these are Louboutin -,"

"I know,"

"I can't wear them!,"

"Sure you can, all you have to do is take off your shoes and slip the-"

"Gen!' Therese exclaimed, exasperated. The shoes Gen had shoved into her hands was probably worth more than her whole wardrobe combined. She most definitely could not afford to replace them if she somehow broke or damaged them.

"Don't sweat it Therese, I'm a trust fund baby- remember?" She grinned cheekily, "Now no more dillydallying, get changed! chop chop!,"

Gen shoved the fabric into her hands, leaving the way she came in without giving her a chance to protest.

Therese briefly debated leaving the shoes in Gens locker but decided against it, she would give in just this once- they were very nice shoes after all. She quickly changed into the dress, it was a black bodycon dress and fit her body like a glove- showing off the small curves she had while contrasting her pale skin tone. The pumps added a couple inches to her height, causing a smile to spread across her face. She didn't hate being short but she wasn't over the moon about it either. She examined herself as best she could in the handheld mirror, actually liking what she saw.

She had to admit she did look good, now all she needed was some liquid courage and she would be all set.

She exited the backroom, heading out towards the bar where Gen continued to work. She left the inside of the bar, walking towards the opposite end of the bar top. As she walked she could feel vibrations from the bass speakers in her bones, sending vibrations from the tip of her toes all the way to the top of her head. She loved it. She began to unwind, newfound energy coursing through her veins. She was feeling more confident already, already slowly beginning to slip into her alter ego/persona, even without alcohol.

"Ahem,"

At the sound of Therese's voice Gen looked up, a cheeky smile appearing across her face once she took in her completed appearance. Therese did a twirl for dramatics, putting her hands on her hips and giving Gen a smirk. 

"So what do you think?"

Gen wolf whistled, jokingly eyeing her up and down, "I think you look absolutely delectable,"

"What a charmer," she laughed, leaning against the counter, she ordered two shots, downing them in quick succession. 

"Easy there Tiger, we don't want a repeat of Oozma Kappa," Therese rolled her eyes, " I'm never going to live that down am I?"

"Nope,"

"Ughhh fine-" She bounced on the balls of her feet, restless to get on the dance floor, "-is it almost time for your break yet? I don't want to dance alone,"

"Sorry Tezzie, its a full house tonight so no breaks for moi," 

"I figured, but it was worth a try,"

"Don't wait for me, you can have plenty of fun by yourself, go dance!,"

She was sad that Gen wouldn't be joining her but she also did really want to dance, it was like an itch she couldn't scratch. And only dancing would alleviate it.

"Fine but you owe me a dance!," She called, waving as she made her way to the dance floor.

"Knock em' dead!," She heard Gen holler, her voice become faint as she made her way to the dance floor.

* * *

Hours passed, Therese was having fun dancing with strangers and letting loose. It was liberating, not being that scared mousy girl, even if it was just for a couple of hours. She was someone else that night, someone who knew what she wanted and knew how to get it. She flirted a bit, drinking a bit more but also pacing herself so she wouldn't end up black out drunk this time. She was dancing with a cute brunette when a flash out of the corner of her eye caught her attention- was that a flash of blonde? Immediately her mind went to Carol, but there was no way she was here- she was at the book launch with Abby. She shook her head, she needed to get her out of her head. 

She was beginning to feel a bit tired, her feet aching slightly as she made her way back to the bar top. Gen was now in the far corner, serving some more bar goers. She patiently waited for Gen to finish serving more customers, again tapping her fingers against the counter.

"Well someone enjoyed themselves I see," Therese jumped, Gen's sudden appearance scaring the hell out of her.

"Gen what the hell!-" she gasped, putting a hand over her racing heart, "-You scared the shit out of me,"

"Not my fault you spoke so easily-" she shrugged, hiding the shit eating grin that was spreading across her face, "Did you have fun dancing?"

"I would have had way more fun if you were there," she fake pouted, 

"I know I promise I'll make it up to you, what if me, you and Dannie go to that new karaoke bar sometime, how about that?"

"Deal!" she smiled, her dimples showing up on her cheeks.

"Uh oh, don't look now but Creepy Jimmy is on your nine,"

Therese groaned, letting her head fall gently onto the counter, "Remind me again why he's still allowed to come here after harassing half of the female population frequenting Lucky's?"

"He's Derek's boyfriend's brother or something-" she grumbled, clearly not happy with his appearance either, "He's the darling baby brother who's basically untouchable, and if Derek wants to stay in Isaac's good graces, he'll tolerate Jimmy's presence,"

"Jesus, why won't Derek put his foot down?" she murmured, every regular at the bar knew to steer clear of Jimmy, unless the girls wanted to be harassed and the boys in a meaningless pissing contest because Jimmy seemed to think he was the best thing since sliced bread. Everyone actively gave him the cold shoulder and avoided him but he didn't seem to care, continuing to frequent the bar once in a while and put everyone in a sour mood.

"The metaphorical ship is sinking Tezzie, but Derek isn't jumping ship just yet- he's trying to salvage the relationship the best he can, and I guess tolerating Jimmy is part of that," Therese just nodded, it was situations like this that she was thankful that she was single. She didn't have to jump through any hoops or get heartbroken and abandoned. 

"Awe damn I feel bad for her-" Gen pointed with her chin, "Look- Jimmy found a new victim to harass,"

Therese eyes wandered over to the opposite side of the bar, her eyes landing on Jimmy's untimely victim. She blinked, rubbing her eyes to clear her vision. That couldn't have been who she thought it was, her mind must be playing tricks on her... But once her eyes once again settled on that familiar blonde hair and figure she knew that she wasn't hallucinating.

"Holy shit Gen-"

"Yeah she's quiet the looker isn't she, what is he thinking going after her, she's no-"

"No Gen, you don't understand- That's Carol,"

"Your boss Carol? As in Ice Queen Carol? Miss I'm a rich snob Carol? She-Devil-"

"Yes! Yes! That Carol-" she panicked, "What the hell is she doing here,"

"Um well it looks like shes trying to order a drink-"

"No shit Sherlock!, I mean here, what the hell is she doing here at Lucky's?" she whisper yelled, afraid that even all the way over there Carol could somehow hear her, "Fuck, why the hell is today such a goddamn shit-show?

"I mean it is Friday the 13th soooo..."

"Of course it is," she groaned her head falling into her palms. Suddenly she got an idea- a stupid, crazy, and possibly the dumbest idea in human history- but an idea none the less. She quickly stood straight, smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress and checking her makeup in her compact.

"Gen pour me a shot please,"

"What why?"

"Just do it! If you make me explain myself i'm going to change my mind,"

Gen walked over, unsure and wary- "I don't know what you're planning but good luck,"

Therese gave her a thumbs up, downing the shot in one gulp. She shook herself, she could do this, she just had to be confident. She slowly approached the end of the bar, watching the interaction between the blonde and Jimmy. She was clearly uninterested, her body language stiff and closed off. But of course Jimmy didn't care, getting too close for comfort and even going as far as to try and touch her arm. Carol was clearly becoming more and more annoyed, she was patiently waiting for the bartender to notice her and ask her what she wanted, but in the packed bar she would probably be waiting for a couple of minutes. She knew that Carol would probably tell him off in the next couple seconds but that would only spur Jimmy on, thinking that she was playing hard to get.

"Don't you know not to harass women Jimmy?" she tutted, placing her hands on her hips and cocking an eyebrow. Her alter ego finally making her appearance.

"Therese" 

"Jimmy"

"Therese"

" _Jimmy_ "

"Don't you have anything better to do than harass my girlfriend?" She drawled out while looking at her nails, confidence and a sense of power oozing out of her. She flicked her eyes briefly over to Carol, watching her reaction to her bluff. To her surprise and satisfaction Carol was standing there eyes slightly wide and slack jawed. She couldn't help but feel a bit smug that she had rendered Carol Aird speechless. 

"Your girlfriend?" He questioned, pointing at Carol and then laughing once he realized she wasn't joking, "Yea right Therese, No offense but a dame that pretty most definitely ain't a lezzie,"

"You're wrong,"

"Is that so?" 

"It is,"

"Prove it," he

"Fine,"

Therese walked over to Carol, reaching out an arm and wrapping it around her waist, pulling her close and placing a kiss on her cheek. Carol stiffened for a millisecond, clearly not expecting Therese to kiss her, even if it was just on the cheek. But she quickly relaxed, playing along and smiling at Jimmy as if to say _'I told you so'_

"Wrapping your arm around her waist and giving her a peck doesn't prove shit Therese," he scoffed, still calling her bluff.

"Well this will," She replied, turning to face Carol and leaning in slowly, giving Carol an out in case she did not want to kiss her. But to her surprise Carol's hands came up to grab her face and pulled her closer, kissing her deeply. Her stomach did a somersault, not expecting Carol to actually go through with- let alone kiss her with that much ferocity. The rest of the bar faded away, it was just her and Carol, relishing the feeling of the blonde's lips against hers. No more than five seconds could have passed when a disgusting remark brought her back to the present. 

"Okay that's hot,"

Therese separated from Carol quickly, glaring at Jimmy with a look of disgust on her face. "You're disgusting Jimmy, get out of here before I call Leonardo to personally haul your ass out of here,"

"I think you're forgetting who I am Therese," he took a step forward trying to look mean and threatening, but it was a pathetic attempt- in heels Therese stood a good two inches taller than him causing her to look down at the man. 

"No I think YOU'RE forgetting who I am-" she spoke lowly, fed up with his bullshit, "Derek has tolerated your ass up until now because you haven't harassed any of the regulars-" he opened his mouth to object but she quickly silenced him with a heated glare,"-but how do you think he's going to react when he finds out you've been harassing one of his best customer's girlfriend?" She saw a brief look of fear and doubt flash through his eyes but he quickly covered it up, laughing in her face.

"I'm untouchable Therese, just see and what happens if you try,"

"Yea we'll see about that-" she replied, turning to bar and waving over another bartender that she knew well, 

"Everything okay Therese? No one is giving you any trouble are they? Cause just say the word and I'll take care of it," The bartender, also known as Kareem, asked, clearly having been watching their interaction the entire time.

"Actually everything is not okay, he's been harassing me and other customers this entire evening- he's making everyone really uncomfortable, do you think you could make him leave?"

"You lying bitc-"

"Yo Mikey! Can you come here for a second?" Kareem hollered, waving over a busboy that she had met once before. Therese saw Jimmy do a double take as Mikey approached, his eyes nearly bulging out of his sockets at the sheer height and size of him. Therese smirked, Mikey- despite being six foot eight and two hundred and twenty pounds, was a gentle giant and would never hurt a fly, but Jimmy didn't know that and his height alone made people wan to run for the hills

"Can you please show this man the way out? He seems to be bothering some customers,"

"You got it boss," Jimmy scowled but said nothing as Mikey shepherd him out of the bar. Therese waved, a smug smile on her face at the sight of Jimmy's red face and deep scowl. She just couldn't help herself, calling out to him one last time.

"Jimmy don't scowl like that! You don't want your face to be stuck like that now do you?" She swore she saw a vein nearly burst and she couldn't help grin. Kareem just shook his head, going back to serving the other customers. She turned back to Carol, who was staring at her like she'd grown a second head. She couldn't help but laugh, "What are you stalking me now?"

"What? No! of course not I-" 

"Relax I was only teasing you," she grinned, finding it hilarious that she had managed to make Carol flustered, "I'm sorry about kissing you by the way- I had to make it believable,"

Carol just waved her off, "It's fine, I understand- but what do I have to do to get a drink around here?"

"It's not normally this packed, but it is pride month and Derek did a bunch of promotions and stuff,"

"Derek?"

"He's the owner of the bar, he's pretty chill, I've met him a handful times,"

"Ah," was all Carol said, her eyes flitting back to the bartenders. Therese leaned forward slightly, trying to make eye contact with one of the bartenders. Her eyes locked onto a pair of familiar brown eyes, a unspoken question passing between the two. Gen quickly made her way over, so many questions of the tip of her tongue but she held them in, waiting to interrogate Therese later.

"Hey Gen can I get a bottle of Pilsner Urquell and whatever the lady wants,"

"You got it, what would you like ma'm?" Gen asked, her posture was relaxed but Therese could see that Gen's eyes were watching Carol's every move, after all she had heard so much about her from Therese (mostly bad) and her curiosity was getting the better of her.

"Oh I'll have the same," Therese raised an eyebrow but said nothing

"What?" Carol asked, noticing the way Therese's eyebrow shot up.

"Nothing, I just didn't peg you as a beer kind of person,"

"Why not?" 

"Do I really need to answer that?" she turned, giving Carol a pointed look.

"No I guess not," she laughed, an actual genuine laugh that made Therese's stomach do little loops. Gen quickly came back with their beers, placing them on the counter and sending Therese a look that said _'we'll talk later'_ before leaving once again. Therese grabbed her beer, taking a big sip. They sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts as they reflected on the day's events. What a day it had been, she never expected for her night to turn out like this, kissing her boss and sharing drinks with her.

"What was that by the way?" It was Carol who ended up breaking the silence, startling her slightly at the sudden question. 

"What was what?" she lied, pretending to not understood what she meant, hoping Carol would drop it. But Carol wouldn't drop it, continuing to press for answers as to why Therese's personality took a complete 180. The liquor had started hitting her a while ago, causing her to be more brash, loud and reckless.

"The whole thing with Jimmy" she pressed, determined to get answers out of Therese.

"Oh you mean _that_ ," she replied, almost bitterly. Carol waited for her to elaborate, but Therese just sat in silence, mulling over what to say. It was another minute or two before she spoke again, breaking the silence between the two.

"They called me Jekyll and Hyde in high school- how awful is that?" she laughed, but under it all Carol could tell that the nickname stung Therese from the way her forehead wrinkled slightly and her mouth went into a hard line.

"Why'd they call you that?"

"Well as you could see from our encounter back there, I tend to loosen up a bit once I drink," 

"A bit?"

"Okay maybe a lot," she grinned, burying the unpleasant feelings under a mask of faux amusement. She had buried a lot of things from her past, but her "alter ego" as Gen liked to call her, was one that Therese couldn't not get rid of as easily. The silence stretched between them once more, it wasn't unpleasant, it felt as natural as breathing. She continued to sip her drink, downing the last bit in one huge gulp. She gazed out at the couples dancing, a familiar pang piercing her heart. But she steeled herself, she couldn't tie herself down, she couldn't put herself through that pain again. It was better to keep everyone an arms length away than let herself become attached to someone. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Carol staring at her, an look in her eye that Therese could not decipher. 

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"No you just look..." Carol trailed off, trying to find the right word to express what she was feeling.

"I look like what?"

"Flung out of space," 

.

.

.

* * *

A couple drinks later, and Carol and Therese were actually getting along, making small talk and finding out new information about each other. Therese discovered that Carol had a daughter who was a freshman in college, Rindy was her name. But something had been bugging her ever since she first noticed Carol in the bar- where was Carol's wedding ring?

“So do you do this often?” Therese asked, emboldened by the drinks she and Carol had shared, probably too bold for her own good actually. 

“I beg your pardon?”

“This-” she gestured around, “-coming to a seedy bar after work without your wedding ring?” the words left her lips before she could stop them, it had been bugging her ever since she first noticed that Carol's wedding ring was missing. It was just too interesting for her tipsy self to pass up on.

Carol narrowed her eyes, glowering at Therese.

Therese put her hands up in mock surrender, “Hey I’m not judging, we all do questionable shit, heaven knows I have,”

“Not that it’s any of your business-” Carol snapped, “-but Harge and I are getting a divorce,”

Therese winced, instantly regretting her comment. “I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be, we haven’t been happy for a while,”

Therese stayed silent, not knowing what else to say. 

"What about you?"

"What about me?" she asked, lounging against the counter.

"Do you have a special someone in your life?"

"Oh god no-" she laughed, " I'm enjoying the single life to much to tie myself down,"

Another few minutes of silence passed, it wasn't uncomfortable and Therese actually enjoyed just sitting there. She discreetly watched Carol out of the corner of her eye, trying to understand the woman and why she was the way she was.

"What is it Therese? You've been staring at me for the past two minutes,"

Guess she hadn't been as discreet as she thought.

"Why are you such a bitch all the time?" the question tumbling from her lips before she could stop herself, the drinks she had weakening her filter considerably. 

"I'm not a bitch, I just run a tight ship,"

"yeah right- maybe a torture ship," she muttered, not expecting for Carol to be able to hear her over the music- but either the music wasn't as loud as she thought or Carol had superb hearing because she sent her a glare harsh enough to freeze anyone in their tracks.

"Excuse me?"

"You really can't see it? Wow- your so far stuck up your own ass you can't see how badly you treat others," Wow the drinks really had loosened her up, the anger and frustration that had been festering for weeks suddenly bubbling to the surface.

"If you can't put aside your personal feelings of anger and can't handle the pressure of working under me Miss Belivet- then i'd advise you quit, before you cross a line you can't come back from and I end up firing you,"

“You’re insufferable,” she spat, her eyes blazing as she glared at Carol. The blonde had clearly struck a nerve and she did not look sorry about it, not one bit.

Carol only shrugged, not looking the least bit bothered by Therese’s glaring.

“Screw you,” she hissed, the stool she was previously sitting in making a horrible screeching sound as she got up.

“Not tonight darling, I have a headache,”

Therese felt her neck flush with anger and embarrassment, what was she supposed to say in response to that? Instead she chose to fish a handful of bills out of her clutch, slamming it down on the counter.

“For the drinks- have a horrible night,”

Therese was angry- no she was fuming. How dare Carol tell her off when she was the one being a bitch? And she was just beginning to think that Carol maybe did have a heart, but no- she just had to go and fuck up the rest of her night. "She-Devil," she hissed under her breath, stomping towards the back exit of the bar, the front entrance too crowded to exit through. She was so infuriating, her hair would probably be turning silver soon with all the stress Carol put her through. 

The door swung open with a metallic creak, the door felt cool under her fingertips, a stark difference to the heat emanating throughout the whole bar. She sucked in a deep breath, the cool night air rushing into her lungs. It calmed her a bit, soothing her flushed skin as the cold wrapped around her like a blanket. 

_Deep breaths Therese, in and out, in and ou-_

She was interrupted by the backdoor swinging open noisily, the metallic creak ringing in her ears.

_If that's Carol I swear to fucking god-_

"Therese?" 

"What do you want Carol," she snapped, not in the mood for another argument.

"I came to see where you were going, its not safe to be out at night,"

"Oh so now you care?" she laughed bitterly, turning around to face Carol.

" Just because we got in a petty argument doesn't mean I'm going to let you risk your life by walking home in the dark,"

"Really? because it didn't seem that you cared when you were threatening my job,"

"I did not threaten your job,"

"Yes you did,"

"No merely warned you as to what would happen if you continued acting childishly,"

"I cant fucking believe you," she seethed, clenching her fists tightly.

"What can't you believe Therese? It's not my fault if your not strong enough to handle the pressure,"

The last comment hit Therese square in the chest, she already thought that she was weak but Carol saying it out loud was too much. If she hadn't crossed a line yet she was definitely about to do so right now.

“You wanna know what people call you behind your back Carol?" she spat, walking up to Carol, "They call you the Ice Queen- even She-devil, cause that's how much of horrible person you are to everyone-" she hissed, poking Carol square in the chest with her finger, "It's not just me who hates your shitty attitude, everyone in the whole goddamn office does- but apparently I'm the only one with the balls to call you out on your behavior,"

“Yes after downing god knows how much alcohol," She hissed back, her blue eyes igniting with fury- clearly the name calling was a sore spot for her.

"Fuck you Carol- I'm fucking tired of this, yea maybe I had a couple drinks but at-least now I can say what I really feel-" she fired back, her voice raising slightly, "You're a pompous, arrogant, self-absorbed coward. You take your anger out on everyone else just to feel a little better about your shitty life."

“Say that again,” Carol rumbled, her voice low and her eyes dark as she continued to stare down Therese, “I dare you,” 

She knew the likelihood of her having a job tomorrow was slim to none but she threw all caution to the wind, raising her chin defiantly, her green eyes blazing as she stared up at Carol.

“Fuck you-”

Therese was cut off by Carol’s figure suddenly towering over her, her words dying in her throat. She took a couple steps back, her back hitting the brick wall of the alley. Her breath hitching as Carol placed one arm on the wall, leaning in so close that her hot breath fanned over Therese’s face.

“What’s wrong?” She murmured, dark eyes flashing at Therese's reaction to her proximity, “Cat got your tongue? You were so mouthy a couple of seconds ago,"

Therese let out an audible gulp, her anger quickly evaporated, replaced with butterflies and a jittery feeling in the pit of her stomach. Carol was so close that Therese could make out the flecks of grey in her irises. They reminded her of ice, so cold that they could freeze her dead in her tracks. Her eyes darted down to Carol’s full lips, their kiss to deceive Jimmy had happened so fast and she had no time to really take in the feeling of Carol's lips-she wanted so badly to feel her lips against her own once again.The thought caused heat to spread across her cheeks, she was supposed to be infuriated with the woman, not thinking about how soft and kissable her lips looked. Her eyes darted back up to Carol’s eyes quickly, realizing that she had been staring at the other woman’s lips for longer than deemed socially acceptable. 

She watched Carol’s eyes dilate, watching her hungrily as Therese's tongue darted out to swipe at her bottom lip. She held her breath, waiting for Carol to say something. 

“Do I make you... flustered, Therese?”

“N-no-” she stuttered, clearing her throat before repeating herself, “ No ,” Therese was lying through her teeth and Carol knew it.

Carol leaned in closer, her breath tickling Therese as she whispered into her ear,

“Are you sure?”

Therese fought the urge to clench her thighs together, her core throbbing with desire at Carol’s proximity. She could feel her thighs become more and more slick with every passing second, Carol’s presence sending her into a state of hyper arousal. Carol seemed to know the effect she had on Therese and leaned even closer, her lips ghosting over the shell of the shorter woman’s ear.

“I've seen the way you look at me Therese, the way you were practically undressing me with your eyes earlier at work- don't try and act all innocent now,”

She blushed profusely, so she had noticed Therese’s staring, she knew no matter what sorry excuse she came up with to try and explain Carol would not believe her.

Therese was aware that Carol was watching her every move, waiting to see how she would react to her declaration, deny it? Or maybe even pretend she hadn’t even heard her at all? Therese swallowed, her heart beating erratically in her chest- would she take the leap?

“And? What are you going to do about it?”

She honestly didn’t know where her courage had come from, well that was a lie- the drinks she had shared with Carol earlier had given her a substantial amount of liquid courage.

“Oh I can think of a couple things…” she smirked, licking her lips as her eyes roamed up and down Therese’s body. 

Therese felt a shiver of pleasure roll down her spine, enjoying the sensations pulsating through her body. Carol hadn’t even touched her yet and she was already trembling.

“Oh really? Like what?”

“Like this-”

Carol’s body was suddenly pressed flush against her, her lips crashing onto Therese’s. The second their lips touched Therese knew that she was a goner. Her lips were soft against her own lips and she tasted like cherry chap-stick and alcohol. Her world was tipped on its axis- sent out of orbit. God kissing her was even better the second time. Carol’s perfume threatened to swallow her whole, invading her senses and causing her brain to go haywire. Carol kissed her hungrily, her tongue skimming over Therese bottom lip. Therese parted her lips, allowing for Carol's tongue to slip inside. Carol was definitely dominating the kiss, exploring Therese's mouth and nipping at her occasionally, causing Therese to let out a throaty moan which only encouraged Carol further.

They momentarily separated for air, Therese's chest was heaving from the intensity of their kiss, the cool air stinging her flushed cheeks. Carol didn't look much better, her lipstick smudged and her lips slightly swollen. She was still incredibly close, less than an inch separating them from each other. Carol's ran her hands up Therese's thighs, squeezing lightly. Therese leaned in to kiss her but she moved back slightly, just out of Therese's reach. 

"Do you really want this Therese?" 

"Shut up and kiss me," she growled, pulling Carol forward by her suit's collar and smashing their lips together. This time Therese was in control, deepening the kiss and mapping out Carol's mouth with her tongue. She tugged on the blonde's hair, causing a small whimper to escape Carol. She grinned against their kiss, feeling a bit smug that she got Carol Aird to whimper. But as quick as her control had come, it was suddenly gone- her arms pinned above her by Carol's hand.

"I think you're forgetting who's in control here," she purred, looking down at Therese with hungry eyes. She looked like she was going to devour her, a delicious feast just for her. Therese squirmed under the heat of Carol's gaze, heat pooling between her thighs.

"Then why don't you remind me?"

Carol's eyes flashed and she was on her in a second, her lips attaching to Therese's neck. She nipped and sucked, leaving hot open mouthed kisses everywhere. Therese felt like she was on fire, and Carol's kisses where the only thing that could save her.

“Oh fuck-” She groaned, threading a hand through Carol’s blonde tresses. Carols hands came to grip her thighs, causing Therese to wrap one leg around the blonde’s waist. She was desperate for any friction, her dress riding up as she ground her hips against Carol. Carol indulged her, angling herself so Therese's front was pressed flush against her.

Suddenly the back door swung open, its awful screeching serving as a warning to Carol and Therese. Carol reflexively shielded Therese from view, pulling her tight against her chest and hiding Therese's compromising position- acting as a barrier between her and the strangers. Therese held her breathe, peaking out from under Carols arms. The group of people didn't seem to notice her or Carol, passing by without even a glance in their direction. She could feel Carol's heartbeat beneath her skin, fluttering in her chest like a humming bird. She looked up, making eye contact with those icy blue eyes.

"Come home with me?"

Therese didn't need to think about her answer, Carol's kisses were addictive and rules be damned- so what if Carol was her boss and she was crossing a line ? She _needed_ more, she craved it with every fiber of her being.

 _"_ Lead the way, _"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry yall! this was supposed to be out yesterday but i kept getting sidetracked T-T This was only supposed to be 4k words but it turned into 9k... oops. I'm sorry if its too long, let me know if you'd like the chapters to be shorter! Also if yall caught the Monsters Inc University reference... no you didn't xD Also I'm sorry if the nsfw is bad- I've never written stuff like that ;-; and about the alcohol- I know fuck all about alcohol, sorry!
> 
> And thank you so so much Sof for dealing with me and being the most amazing bestfriend and beta reader ever, ily :)


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